Let go of tension, and enjoy yourself.
Is your Christmas wish for peace, serenity and less stress? Read on to find out how to let go and enjoy yourself, with these tips from leading psychologists and wellbeing experts
Rub your toes
Next time you feel irritated, stiff and on edge, simply press on the area where your big and second toes meet and massage gently. Acupuncturists call it the ‘great thoroughfare,' says Rachel Peckham of the British Acupuncture Council, and rubbing it will help you relax.
Next time you feel irritated, stiff and on edge, simply press on the area where your big and second toes meet and massage gently. Acupuncturists call it the ‘great thoroughfare,' says Rachel Peckham of the British Acupuncture Council, and rubbing it will help you relax.
Have an ‘unlucky' dip
Guests always offer to help, so this year, plan ahead. ‘I write chores on scraps of paper and ask guests to pick one out of a hat,' says psychologist Linda Blair. ‘It works brilliantly because it's a bit of fun. People like to feel useful and it gives them something specific to do.'
Guests always offer to help, so this year, plan ahead. ‘I write chores on scraps of paper and ask guests to pick one out of a hat,' says psychologist Linda Blair. ‘It works brilliantly because it's a bit of fun. People like to feel useful and it gives them something specific to do.'
Sniff sweet-scented flowers ‘Their beauty will lift your mood, while the soothing scent relieves stress,' says aromatherapist Jennie Harding, who recommends rose and lavender as the top relaxing scents. For calm you can take with you, slip Tisserand's Lavender and Chamomile Rollerball (£5.25, 01273 325666; www.tisserand.com) into your bag, to rub on your pulses whenever you feel tense.
Think of stress as a glass of water
‘If stress levels rise to the brim, it only takes a few drops for it to overflow,' warns neuropsychologist David Lewis. Keep stress down with the bo-tau breathing method he teaches to top athletes (www.bo-tau.com). Using your left thumb and forefinger, squeeze your nose lightly just above your nostrils. Inhale for five seconds, hold your breath for five, and exhale for eight as you imagine the tension streaming out of you. Repeat four times.
‘If stress levels rise to the brim, it only takes a few drops for it to overflow,' warns neuropsychologist David Lewis. Keep stress down with the bo-tau breathing method he teaches to top athletes (www.bo-tau.com). Using your left thumb and forefinger, squeeze your nose lightly just above your nostrils. Inhale for five seconds, hold your breath for five, and exhale for eight as you imagine the tension streaming out of you. Repeat four times.
Understand family fallout
‘Conflict is bound to happen at Christmas - it's all a matter of re-adjusting to each other as a family,' says Professor Cary Cooper of Lancaster University. He believes it's better to express strong feelings than to let them simmer away while you watch the 'EastEnders' special. Better still, get up from the sofa and find an active way to relieve the tension. ‘Have fun together - go bowling or ice-skating or play board games. Then any issues come out naturally,' he explains.
‘Conflict is bound to happen at Christmas - it's all a matter of re-adjusting to each other as a family,' says Professor Cary Cooper of Lancaster University. He believes it's better to express strong feelings than to let them simmer away while you watch the 'EastEnders' special. Better still, get up from the sofa and find an active way to relieve the tension. ‘Have fun together - go bowling or ice-skating or play board games. Then any issues come out naturally,' he explains.
Making healing hot chocolate
This delectable twist on a winter favourite, from TV's 'Grow Your Own Drugs' ethnobotanist James Wong, will help you calm down and catch up on sleep. Don't worry if you can't find all the ingredients - you'll enjoy it just the same, he says - and omit the valerian if you're pregnant or on medication. Add 1tsp each valerian root, lemon balm and lavender, a passion flower and two leaves, the peel of ½ orange and 300ml (½ pint) whole milk to a pan. Heat gently for 5-10 min, then strain and return to the pan. Add 20g (7oz) good-quality dark chocolate and a dash of vanilla extract, stir constantly until melted and pour into a mug.
This delectable twist on a winter favourite, from TV's 'Grow Your Own Drugs' ethnobotanist James Wong, will help you calm down and catch up on sleep. Don't worry if you can't find all the ingredients - you'll enjoy it just the same, he says - and omit the valerian if you're pregnant or on medication. Add 1tsp each valerian root, lemon balm and lavender, a passion flower and two leaves, the peel of ½ orange and 300ml (½ pint) whole milk to a pan. Heat gently for 5-10 min, then strain and return to the pan. Add 20g (7oz) good-quality dark chocolate and a dash of vanilla extract, stir constantly until melted and pour into a mug.
Stretch the celebrations
‘You'll enjoy Christmas much more if you extend the festivities,' says psychotherapist Gael Lindenfield, author of '101 Morale Boosters'. ‘Don't try to cram everything - a family gathering, drinks parties and work dos - into two weeks. Plan a party a few weeks after Christmas, when you're more relaxed and everyone needs cheering up.'
‘You'll enjoy Christmas much more if you extend the festivities,' says psychotherapist Gael Lindenfield, author of '101 Morale Boosters'. ‘Don't try to cram everything - a family gathering, drinks parties and work dos - into two weeks. Plan a party a few weeks after Christmas, when you're more relaxed and everyone needs cheering up.'
Take it easy
Avoid putting stress on your body when you're shopping, wrapping or cooking, says physiotherapist Sammy Margo. Carry shopping of equal weight in each hand and wrap presents on the ironing board (it's the perfect height). And if you need to lift the turkey out of a low oven, stand at the side of the door, not straight in front of it. It means you can hold the load closer to your body, reducing the strain on your back.
Avoid putting stress on your body when you're shopping, wrapping or cooking, says physiotherapist Sammy Margo. Carry shopping of equal weight in each hand and wrap presents on the ironing board (it's the perfect height). And if you need to lift the turkey out of a low oven, stand at the side of the door, not straight in front of it. It means you can hold the load closer to your body, reducing the strain on your back.
Get to parties on time
‘Shy people often slip in late so they won't be noticed, but by that time it's too noisy to talk and people have split into groups,' says Professor Bernardo Carducci of the US Shyness Research Institute. ‘It's less stressful if you arrive early, when it's easier to meet people and you can hear them.'
‘Shy people often slip in late so they won't be noticed, but by that time it's too noisy to talk and people have split into groups,' says Professor Bernardo Carducci of the US Shyness Research Institute. ‘It's less stressful if you arrive early, when it's easier to meet people and you can hear them.'
Stop for lunch
‘If you skip a meal or just grab a coffee when you're busy, your body releases adrenaline, so you feel even more stressed,' explains nutritional therapist Marilyn Glenville. ‘You'll be more focused if your body is calmer, and that means eating regularly.' To help, try taking a supplement like Tranquil Woman Plus, (£20,www.naturalhealthpractice.com) with B vitamins, magnesium, Siberian ginseng, L-theanine and aloe vera to help you cope.
‘If you skip a meal or just grab a coffee when you're busy, your body releases adrenaline, so you feel even more stressed,' explains nutritional therapist Marilyn Glenville. ‘You'll be more focused if your body is calmer, and that means eating regularly.' To help, try taking a supplement like Tranquil Woman Plus, (£20,www.naturalhealthpractice.com) with B vitamins, magnesium, Siberian ginseng, L-theanine and aloe vera to help you cope.
Enjoy a mocktail
‘Have an adult, alcohol-free drink to give your liver a night off,' suggests TV nutritionist Amanda Hamilton. ‘I like posh tonic with a squeeze of lime, or soda water with a dash of ginger beer and angostura bitters. Both are delicious yet totally sin free.'
‘Have an adult, alcohol-free drink to give your liver a night off,' suggests TV nutritionist Amanda Hamilton. ‘I like posh tonic with a squeeze of lime, or soda water with a dash of ginger beer and angostura bitters. Both are delicious yet totally sin free.'
Decide what really matters
Do you want a fabulous Christmas dinner or is the meal unimportant as long as you see loved ones over the break? Thinking about your priorities shows you what to focus on and what to let go, advises psychotherapist Andrea Perry, who wrote 'The Little Book Of Procrastination'*. ‘But don't try to control everything - let the unexpected happen. It might bring the magic you hope for.'
Do you want a fabulous Christmas dinner or is the meal unimportant as long as you see loved ones over the break? Thinking about your priorities shows you what to focus on and what to let go, advises psychotherapist Andrea Perry, who wrote 'The Little Book Of Procrastination'*. ‘But don't try to control everything - let the unexpected happen. It might bring the magic you hope for.'
Roll away the headaches
Sitting cross-legged or kneeling, move your head gently to the right, then back, to the left, and forward. Do three circles to the right, then three to the left. ‘It not only releases tension in the neck, it also helps to remove calcium deposits in the joints and helps firm a double chin,' says yoga expert Barbara Currie. Find out more in her 'Power Of Yoga' DVD (£12.99, www.amazon.co.uk).
Sitting cross-legged or kneeling, move your head gently to the right, then back, to the left, and forward. Do three circles to the right, then three to the left. ‘It not only releases tension in the neck, it also helps to remove calcium deposits in the joints and helps firm a double chin,' says yoga expert Barbara Currie. Find out more in her 'Power Of Yoga' DVD (£12.99, www.amazon.co.uk).
Remember your best-ever Christmas
‘Concentrate on what has been fun in the past - for my kids it's charades,' advises Good Housekeeping's GP Dr Sarah Jarvis. ‘Ask everyone what they enjoy and incorporate their favourite traditions if you can. But negotiate - don't surrender - or you'll feel resentful. Remember, it's your day too.'
‘Concentrate on what has been fun in the past - for my kids it's charades,' advises Good Housekeeping's GP Dr Sarah Jarvis. ‘Ask everyone what they enjoy and incorporate their favourite traditions if you can. But negotiate - don't surrender - or you'll feel resentful. Remember, it's your day too.'
Act the part
Be the one they all warm to, even if you feel like the Grinch that stole Christmas inside. Actors use ‘sense memory' to recall how they behave when they're happy or sad, says actress and coach Leonie Mellinger (for courses, visit www.mellinger.co.uk). ‘Switch on the emotion and it soon stops being an act. Then you'll find you really are enjoying yourself, and your enthusiasm will inspire everyone around you.'
Be the one they all warm to, even if you feel like the Grinch that stole Christmas inside. Actors use ‘sense memory' to recall how they behave when they're happy or sad, says actress and coach Leonie Mellinger (for courses, visit www.mellinger.co.uk). ‘Switch on the emotion and it soon stops being an act. Then you'll find you really are enjoying yourself, and your enthusiasm will inspire everyone around you.'
Eat a healthy snack
‘Christmas can mean abandoning all idea of healthy eating, so you end up fat, bloated and broke,' says nutrition consultant Ian Marber, author of 'Supereating'. ‘If you're going to eat late, have a smoothie with pumpkin seeds for magnesium or an avocado dip for essential fats and vitamin E. Or snack on a hard-boiled egg, full of B vitamins and zinc.'
‘Christmas can mean abandoning all idea of healthy eating, so you end up fat, bloated and broke,' says nutrition consultant Ian Marber, author of 'Supereating'. ‘If you're going to eat late, have a smoothie with pumpkin seeds for magnesium or an avocado dip for essential fats and vitamin E. Or snack on a hard-boiled egg, full of B vitamins and zinc.'
Introduce change
‘Many people have a fixed picture of how Christmas should be, but you can't stop children from growing out of Santa or your brother from getting divorced,' says marital therapist and author Andrew G Marshall. ‘Make a deliberate decision to bring something new into this year's celebrations. That way, change becomes something to look forward to instead of a loss.'
‘Many people have a fixed picture of how Christmas should be, but you can't stop children from growing out of Santa or your brother from getting divorced,' says marital therapist and author Andrew G Marshall. ‘Make a deliberate decision to bring something new into this year's celebrations. That way, change becomes something to look forward to instead of a loss.'
Have an energy break
‘If you build in recovery time, you'll have more energy and less stress,' says hypnotherapist Paul McKenna. ‘Once or twice a day, relax all your muscles deeply for five minutes. Remember a time when you felt really good and let the feelings wash over you. Then return to consciousness refreshed, feeling a sense of calm and inner confidence.'
‘If you build in recovery time, you'll have more energy and less stress,' says hypnotherapist Paul McKenna. ‘Once or twice a day, relax all your muscles deeply for five minutes. Remember a time when you felt really good and let the feelings wash over you. Then return to consciousness refreshed, feeling a sense of calm and inner confidence.'
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